Sunday, March 13, 2016


I usually have a nifty anchor image. But I haven't been doing "real" photography for years. Well, I have been using my phone. And, occasionally, the big camera comes out for those that I give a shit about. An ever shrinking group. But yeah...

I usually have a nice opening statement, positive and forward-looking. But I am not feeling that.

This will be a year of transition. I have already found that my PC (politically correct) bucket is pretty dry. I have been saying things that I never thought I would say, out loud. And it will get worse.

I think the velvet gloves have come off. No more nice, everyone is a fucking adult. Fucking handle it.

Work-wise, moving away from the work I've been doing for the last 20 years. Back to office work. Dealing with people. With unique issues. Unique personalities. And, unlike machines, I can't yell, scream, cuss at, or kick them. That would be bad. So I need to learn how to deal with humans.

Humans. You know, I expressly avoided retail, just so I could avoid them. But, at least, there is a degree of anonymity. You are the non-person tasked with catering to the customers wishes. Process them through. They walk away happy. Next.

Not so much with back-office work. You see the same humans, in an endless circle. When you get a call from them, the autonomous thought is, "Now what?". You have to develop relationships, cater to the individual, be their go-to answer guy, sounding board, leash puller, wall to stand behind when they have to give answers they don't understand. To be sure, there are a few bright lights out there, but they are few, and disappearing quickly.

On the other hand, I need to be the "expert." They are looking for pat answers. Which I really loathe. I am attempting to lead them through the thought process, whether it is just to be a sounding board so they can hear themselves think (I can very much deal with those!), or those that need direction and/or hand-holding (I am concerned about those). Rather old school; we all had access to the same shit, we should all be thinking the same way. I am very concerned, And rather stressed.

I really hope that I can fulfill the duties I need to due, beyond the fucking job description. Because a loved one's sanity is involved. Major reputations.

On top of all of this, a certain dumbass (been designated DA, by agreement) is making life very complicated.

A bright spot. My drinking levels having dropped. A lot. On the other hand, my blood pressure is cranking pretty hard. Body happy, head explodes. So much for that. Hopefully, not at a "bottle a week" rate.

You find out who you actually give a fuck about. Who you love. By the amount the blood pressure rises when you see them in distress. And I have found out I have a very small group. And they have been under stress. Under attack, actually. And I have been turning purple. And I will love these people no less. I will be there for them. Hell or fucking high water.

I don't know if I will make it out of this year alive.

In any case, those that in that small circle.... I LOVE YOU. I will die before critical mass happens to you.

No comments:

Post a Comment