Participant Observation

There is a danger to getting intoxicated, then interacting socially. Especially online. You will say what you mean, and mean what you say. And, thanks to the likes of Google, it is saved forever in the ether. Or in the minds of whoever you were tslking to.

This is a good and bad thing. If you are open and truthful, keeping no secrets, then you will be more so. If you hide behind a mask, and/or keep secrets, then the facade drops, and locks opened. The truth with be revealed.

So the saying "truth in a bottle" holds. At least for me. I have skeletons. And thoughts that really should not see the light of day. Scary. Since most of my social interaction is online. Like this post. Ha.

Rather frightened of what drunk people will say about me. I hide under many layers. Anxiety does that to you. I think, I hope, I am slowly peeling away the layers. Trying to to deal. It is hard. Mind is always cranking up new worst-case scenarios. Grateful for friends. Real ones. The ones that may not understand, but they are there for me anyway. Love them.

I hsve been told that I am a good writer. I guess I have an imagination, sufficient education and life experience, to translate my brain into words. From grade school through college. Even had a professor offer to co-write a book. Still not sure about that. Don't know what to write. Pretty much my life story. "Don't know." "Not sure." "Who am I?" What do I do?"

Crap. What was I trying to say? I forget. Gah! Next stage of my life story. Oldness.

 

Also. Your spelling gets better. You type slower. Just saying.

P.S. There should be an ordinance. Writing under the influence.

P.P.S. This started out intending only to write the 2 paragraphs. What happened?

P.P.P.S. Don't proof under the influence. The letters move, and it's a buzzkill.

Riding it out

You can ride out the storm if you are passionate about what waits for you on the other side.

Keep telling myself that. Yeah...