Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I need to do this. Things that have happened over the last year, things that have happened in the last few months, things that are happening right this minute. Making me kinda nuts. So I need to step back and breathe. Slow down. Assess.
For the most part, I am one that operates best with information. So not a "whatever" person. The less holes in my data banks, the better. Because my head likes to fill those holes with wild imaginings. All the worst things that could happen would happen in my imaginings. Kinda need my steps between "here" and "there" planned out. Okay, maybe not every step. But planned, in any case. Because I really, REALLY dislike having to "make do." I do that, yes, but it annoys me to no end. Because I feel like I failed.
I know, it's not a failure to not get everything. But that is what I am. So, again, the more information I have, the better. I feel like I have my bases covered, and can deal with the 90%.
As it stands, I can only assume I have 50% or less of the information I need to feel kinda comfortable. Lots of "hole" to fill. Feels like I lack control. So I need to step back and breathe. Lots. Slowly. Deeply. Get ahold of what I do control, and hang on tight. But be ready to jump, as reality dictates that the only constant is change. Yeah. Head is screaming again.