Thursday, December 25, 2014

Holidays, stresses, glimmer of hope

christmas lights

The holidays. A time for celebration. Fellowship. Friends & Family. I do hope you are all doing well, out there.

I. Am stressing. Wake up to 148/94. And I haven't even gotten out of bed, yet.

You see. We are in "project mode." It's constantly in the forefront of my mind. The deadline is all we are seeing in our vision. End of calendar year. Because of politics. It's okay. We'll make it. I trust my project manager, and she says we will.

Still. Me being the type that obsesses over all the "what ifs" and "oh shits." Over-thinking all the ways things could go wrong. I think I've done all I can to prepare us for foreseeable contingencies. It's the unknowns that have me tied up in knots. The unpleasant surprises. Finding out that those we thought we could trust to get it done, bailed. We've had enough of those to know more are coming. And the pleasant surprises, those that were questionable stepping up. And, of course, those we knew we couldn't depend on, but were hoping against hope, didn't disappoint. Through all, we've been able to deal, so far. Scrambled. Lots. But we hit our marks. 

Makes for a very bad rollercoaster ride. Which is why I believe I need to get out. Move on. Soon. Not yet sure how this will happen. There are some plans. But they are as set as hot Jell-O.

To be sure. I am grateful to be involved with the team I am currently slogging through the muck with. Everyone knows what they are doing, I really only have to be concerned with my areas of responsibility. Sad that this will be the last time through with this group. We are breaking up after this. Because reasons.

Looking forward. More projects. Hope there will be a little downtime, before hurling myself unto the breach, once again.

I keep telling myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hope it's not the oft-mentioned oncoming train. Wait. Need to stay positive. That is the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, it is.